You're at the end of your third set on the chest press machine, and as you push out that last rep, you notice that the guy across the room with the nicely cut abs and biceps is looking at you in the mirror while he does his bicep curls. He's hot, for sure, but is he flirting or just another narcissistic muscle head showing off? You move to the next machine and glance over at bicep guy. Yep. he's definitely checking you out, and he's the type you go for. Your next move is...
Well, what would you do? Let's face it, the gym is a hotbed of flirtation and sexual/dating possibilities. Depending on which you're after, the way you initiate or respond to a flirt at the gym can either make it happen, or make it just go away. Put your best game forward, and step up. Don't let the opportunity pass you by. You want to get it right, if you're going to get it....
Ground Cover
So, let's break down the basics. Cover these bases and you'll be off to a good start!
Try to look and smell nice
Looking nice just means taking a bit of care with your gym attire. Wearing your old ratty T shirt with the holes in it and those stretched out sweatpants that you love is not going to cut it. Step it up and invest in a few, simple yet stylish pieces that have you looking neat, clean and attractive. Nobody wants to be approached by the sweaty, dirty looking guy at the gym.
By the same token, dress appealingly, but don't overdo it. You never want to look like you're trying too hard. Ladies, keep it sexy without looking like you just climbed down off a stripper pole, or are on your way to a hot party. Leave a little something to the imagination. The best flirt artists know that as rule #1!
And as for smelling, nice, it's not that impossible. Just be sure to freshen up a bit if you get a little too sweaty. Carrying or keeping a bottle of lightly scented body spray is a good idea. You can spritz some on mid workout when you go to the bathroom. It will help you feel more confident to know you're not smelly if you want to try to talk to someone.
Be approachable!
Some of us, when we're working out get this fierce, warrior, gym face on that could scare away even the wildest animal! Soften it up a bit and smile a little! A smile opens the door and gets people to let their guard down. Now you don't look so scary to try to talk to! Your warrior's mask could be keeping you from getting some quality flirt time from someone who thinks you're a hottie, but they're scared to even look your way, you're so fierce when your game face is on.
Don't be afraid to make the first move
If you see someone that elevates heart rate, stay relaxed. Pick the right moment, position yourself, and initiate some small talk. Be casual, friendly, and don't drop lines...just be natural. Not sure what to say? Then just ask a simple question.. Something like "how long have you been working out?" is a great conversation starter at the gym. Or "How do you like that machine/exercise? Is it really working for you?". And you can always ask someone to show you how to use a machine or how to do an exercise you see them doing. Ladies, that one is a no brainer for you. Guys love to be helpful, and guys, that same trick can work for you too. After all, you're both there for the same purpose; getting fit. There's no more normal a conversation you can have in this environment. There are a million and one seemingly innocent questions you can ask someone at the gym. This one's easy. Jump on it!
Be friendly...just not TOO friendly
Be friendly without being annoying. If you've started a conversation with someone, and they're not really responding, abort mission. A flirt is never fun if it's not being reciprocated. Cut your losses and move on. But when you do have one on the line, and they're into it, be sure to keep your banter light and friendly without going too in depth about the details of your personal life. The best flirters are great at showing interest in the other person, instead of going on and on about themselves. There's a subtle art to that. Learn it!
Give a compliment. They do work!
And what better place to do it? Here, in this environment where people are actively doing their best to improve their appearance, everyone wants to know that their hard work is paying off. I find that complimenting a guy on one of his best body parts kicks the door wide open for me. "Wow! You've got some nice triceps!" or "Whooo. Nice abs! You must work your abs a lot!". I have said that to many a guy..and it's worked. Might sound a bit cheesy, but you know what? I also mean those things when I say them. Like, I wouldn't say it to a guy that didn't fit the description! And even the toughest looking guy (or girl) appreciates a good compliment every now and then.
Look at what your person of interest has going for them, and compliment them on it. Now, to be honest, I usually use this as a "hit and run" approach. I compliment, smile, and then just walk away. I don't linger, trying to open a conversation, unless it just happens naturally. But that little compliment gives me an opening that I can use now any time I see this person at the gym. The next time, I smile, they smile and we exchange hellos. From that point, anything is possible. I no longer have to think on how to get this person's attention...been there, done that. You don't always have to get it all in one sitting. Sometimes you gotta just lay the track. Then eventually, you can get that train to run and stop right at your station!
Look for signs that they're single
Now, before you turn it on, look for signs that they're single. And if you can't tell, you can find ways to find out during a conversation. Like, "does your wife/husband work out here too?" That's a great question, because it not only gets you some pertinent information, but it also let's the person know (if they just happen to be a little clueless) that you're kind of interested. Two birds with one stone!
You don't want to waste your good flirting skills on someone you can't even have in the first place!
Check for wedding rings, and ring marks on the wedding ring finger (some people take their rings off to work out). You don't want to make an ass of yourself trying to horn in on someone else's territory.
In a nutshell, you have to be willing to just throw caution to the wind and go for it. You have to figure out what works for you, what you can pull off given your personality type, and just work it! If coy flirtation is more your speed, be coy. Have a sparkling personality? Get close to that person, find your opening, and sparkle on! The gym is the perfect flirting environment because you have time to assess your target, and make your approach, and unlike a quick sighting of some hottie on the train, bus or sidewalk, not only do you have more time, but you're already starting out on common ground. Use that to your advantage!
With a little practice and a whole lotta confidence, you'll be able to flirt at the gym with ease in no time. So, come on, let's do it! Flex, smile, and go get 'em, tiger!
The Art of Flirting at the Gym
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